Vent Or Keep It Bottled Up, What Would You Do?
A recent study at Berkeley Reported in Psychology Today found too much fighting can potentially lead to heart issues. But shutting down emotionally isn't good either, because it builds tension and causes issues like stiff muscles or a bad back.
So here are three tips from relationship experts that can help you be more mindful and productive with your fights. Which is good for your relationship, and your health, I think it is a win, even if you don't win the argument.
Be open to being wrong. The bad fights are when both people refuse to budge in any way. So try to remember you could be wrong, or at least not 100% right. And get comfortable with admitting it.
Really listen. Instead of poking holes in their logic, focus on what they're saying. And try not to assume you know what they're thinking. You don't have to agree with them. Just try to understand where they're coming from, and stay calm.
Consider what's behind your emotions, and give each other a break sometimes. So much of what we do is dictated by our own brain chemistry. And when we're triggered emotionally, our brains get flooded with cortisol, which makes us more likely to lash out.
So try not to provoke each other, or as I call it "Poke the Bear". And remember fights aren't always about one thing. Past experiences and previous behavior also factor in.